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Little Me Comes Forward

ROCK will narrate before she speaks to catch you up. Despite BaD DaD’s behavior which almost led him to being incarcerated for statutory rape ( sex with a minor), her mother let her see him eventually. A great Uncle and “little me’s” paternal grandmother came up with an outrageous plan to convince the livid father of the aforementioned minor that BaD DaD was truly in love with the minor and was slipping into severe mental decline from being seperated from her. It all started when he was working as a “gopher” for a political campaign for John Jay Hooker, whose slogan was, “He’s Our Man”. Her parents were married and some campaign parties were held at the tiny rented house in Nashville. One of the guys he met would eventually be called “Uncle Stu” by “Little Me”; he was the older brother of the teen her father was having an affair with. The girl’s father was a very influential and wealthy man and determined to send BaD DaD to prison when he found out about this activity. How he found out, I do not know and doesn’t matter. The plan was BaD DaD (and BaD HUSBAND, SON, BROTHER, PERSON) would feign insanity to the point of being admitted to a mental hospital. He did so and was truly convincing. In all of this true craziness both “Little me’s” hard working mother and the minor girl’s father began to go visit him. Here is where Sgt. Bilko comes in. Apparently BaD DaD would stare and call for “Sgt. Bilko” while wandering in circles around his room. Sgt. Bilko who was a comic strip character in the Tennessean newspaper drew quite a lot of attention. BaD DaD was quite the showman and succeeded in winning the minor’s father’s affection. The father even came to see him while BaD DaD’s wife was leaving off clean underwear and clothes. She was literally standing in the same room watching her husband, her high school sweetheart, her rapist and her daughter’s father perform; she was fully aware of BaD DaD’s thespian talent as the minor’s father and mother brought him flowers and a gift. Holy McFuck BaD MaN! He was amazing (OSCAR!) in this role of pretending that he was going to die without this girl. Eventually “Little me’s” mother had to sign him out as his guardian and further humilate herself. He actually went back to the little house for awhile. Meawhile, the minor girl was not at all interested in pursuing marriage or a relationship with him but BaD DaD had to play out the game to keep his ass out of trouble. Again, no one matters to a #narcissist and #sociopath but themselves. A sociopath knows full well what they are doing is wrong, they just don’t care. They are out to make their world a better place, not yours. If you cross them and they need you as a frontliner they will do whatever it takes to convince you that YOU are what they need. They will cry, lie and continue to try to keep you in their closest circle. They will convince you that YOU are the ONLY PERSON who understands them and you will believe them. Yet what they need you for are money, sex, constant attention, total control and much more; they are excellent at roleplaying their way through life and all relationships. As soon as the divorce papers were filed by “Little me’s” mother and cleared he drove the minor to some courthouse with her father’s consent to marry. The poor girl was forced by her father and Sgt. Bilko to marry. She didn’t want it; she even tried to escape by grabbing his car wheel and forcing him to pull over so she could get out. That’s when it became clear, he was in charge and she was stuck. The father had an apartment above his estate’s garage where they would stay until they moved into a small apartment when minor, NOW a Major in Bilko’s bunkers got pregnant. I don’t care about all the details. I care about the Truth. I am the Truth. I am ROCK.

The #emotionalabuse and the continual #inappropriatesexualconduct which would haunt not just “little me” but without exaggeration, hundreds of other women for life, I care about. The women, the boys and girls, the abused and used, the hurt Bilko caused for so many friends, family and total strangers. My main role though is to guard forever, “Little me”.

Uncle Stu, despite not being the most scrupulous of characters would eventually come to “little me’s” rescue. Ironically despite his only goals for years were to cover for Bilko by assisting him in putting the “con” in eCONomy and creating whacked up fraudulant business plans, he mainly just hung around and smoked weed, scored cocaine and basically chauffeured “little me” around looking like a chunky version of Charles Manson. Somewhere underneath all of his long, curly hair, dark unkempt beard was one line he didn’t cross that would later benefit “Little me.”

NOW “Little me” is yanking on my pants leg wanting to speak so I will step aside and let her tell you in her own little voice a disturbing memory. I will help her as she can become very scared still. It’s called, “triggered” or “triggering” in #CPTSD, that is Complex post traumatic stress disorder.

“Little Me” is very, very upset. “Little me” is crying and has been slipping further into her dark room. This is not good. She needs to crawl out of this dank space.

“I was sleeping in a big bed alone while BaD DaD was not in the room; he was with the new blonde lady. I woke up because a flash of light was in my eyes!”; (indeed it was a flashlight), “and the bed was moving. There was giggling and I looked under the blankets and saw BaD DaD and the blonde lady naked and BaD DaD was on top of her.” “Little me” screamed and cried out, “STOP, STOP!” (yet they kept laughing.) “Little me” is blank. I am sorry “Little Me”.

She said she wanted her mother. She was very young, maybe four and had flown all by herself on an airplane to the other city to see him. When she returned home she told her mother and she remembers that she was very afraid, perhaps she might get in trouble for what she saw. This is when she first realizes she had a good Dad and a BaD DaD and begins to study and slowly discern between them. She didn’t know her mother called and asked BaD DaD what happened; later when she was very grown up she would ask her mother about it and find out that BaD DaD had lied to her mother, again. “Little me” also remembers shower time with BaD DaD and much, much later she would worry about a future half-sibling who was told to shower with BaD DaD, too.

“Little Me” must rest and I must take care of her. Outside it is raining in the NOW world, it is dark, cold and gray. This is how “Little Me” feels. ROCK will cover for her; ROCK never let’s her down.

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