ROCK knows Lm needs attention yet he forces her to grow, not dwell on her past. She is indeed sprawling, like ivy across an old doorway leading to solid stone paths. Above the sky is blue and she knows that real people suffer and others are indifferent. She sees the careless, haplessly self-absorbed humans as beige. How can anyone not care about the whole damn picture? Who are those that see blood dripping from the heavens and go about their lives with normalcy? People are screaming for help in our neighborhood; Ukrainian families embrace fear and the beige people are shopping for more, more, more. The neighborhood is all inclusive, a package deal. What happens in the Ukraine is happening to all of us. Part of Lm is always thinking, worrying, sorrowful and broken, yet when she sees the same in others she stands up on the top step and pushes her way to the front lines. She will not tolerate the deficiencies in other’s consciousness, she will use a loud speaker, bang on drums and pipes until she is heard. She cares very little about beige people and their circles of chatter. Blue skies are hanging over the whole world right this minute, not at all like the blue in Thailand’s resorts, or on Miami’s most popular beaches that have beige people with pink cocktails. Blue skies are singing deep and low old spiritual songs from the warriors, slaves and feminine fighters before us. The air is thick with fumes spewing the cries of innocence, the children deeply weary from moving place to place for their own good. Who is running to help them up or out; is this real at all? This war is not a test, it’s real life, real stuff and how can anyone, anything matter more than this now? No broken porcelain doll, no dreary childhood, no stack of dirty dishes, no movie star, no religion, not NOW! Prayer has brought Lm to her skinned boney knees repeatedly for 59 years and nothing changed. Beige people walking like zombies pushing strollers full of new life in a world of blue skies that are truly full of broken hearts. The moon, the sun, the unnamed stars are all watching the game below. We ARE in the real world reality show and we aren’t winning. ROCK knows that as long as Lm is focused on sending out SOS signals to save others she forgets her self. She is selfishly entwined in her own pain otherwise. ROCK knows she is soon ready to push through the door that he guards. He also knows, even if she defies her own needs she will return to him on lonely nights, when the memories keep her awake, when she remembers her BaDDaD and can’t get passed a memory. She will come back to ROCK and as always he will calm her grief, even if it’s a repetitive move he will know how to protect her tender soul.
In the darkest hours as we slept the Russian troops attacked the Ukraine. There is no time for LittleMe or ROCK. It’s not about them now; it’s about the people in peril, the ones stuck in bumper to bumper traffic trying to flee from Kiev. The men in power with suits and ties are saluting themselves with powerful words slinging back and forth like bullies on a playground. As families embrace their fears, and the sick, poor and invalids have nowhere to flee the missiles fire. I am aware that the skies are foggy and the rush of rain that splatters against the windshield is from the tears of stars, the same one’s that were shining as we all were dreaming. The beacons of light were witness to the early morning rampage; they could not have stopped this and are crying and know people are on their knees praying, looking up at them,wondering if God exists and they hear the desperate call out for a sign of hope. We are driving toward the Baltic Sea now and there is a sense of sorrow in the air. An unsettling quiet looms over us as we know that children are comforted by mother’s and father’s who are meeting the eyes of strangers as they take shelter in subway tunnels and know that without a doubt they can do absolutely nothing but hope that someone, somehow, will end this peacefully. Updates remind us we are all pawns in the hands of our individual governments and despite the protests and mayhem we keep our doors open for resolution.